When we're trying to deal with family issues, many young South Asian women struggle to take the first step. Instead of going out when things are tough at home, we often stay in, trying to find peace alone. This can make us feel on edge all the time. We prefer talking to friends on the phone because we don't want to bring them into our family problems, or we're afraid of upsetting our parents, or maybe our friends are dealing with their own family issues. So, we focus on building relationships and finding things to do at home, where we feel safe and comfortable.

Moreover, when we finally muster the courage to step out, challenge a rule, or pursue our own desires, it often involves spending money on Uber to maximize the little time we have before our unreasonable curfews; answering phone calls every 10 to 20 minutes from our parents about our whereabouts, forced to fib about those whereabouts and more. It becomes a hassle, with one complication after another, making socializing incredibly challenging, and eventually, we give up trying altogether.

It's not until we're older that we understand the lasting effects of this. We become used to using work or school as our reasons to leave the house, and because of this, we feel like we need an excuse to take care of ourselves. We find it hard to love ourselves unless it's linked to our academic or professional achievements.